Now I'm calling this email "Mixed Hockey" because I'm wondering what first comes to mind when you get an email with a subject matter "mixed hockey." I am just sitting at work, just finished up a project when I received this email to my work account. I love the Brits- apparently I was invited to play "mixed hockey" with Citigroup- one of our key
clients. I don't want to play- but even if I did the problem is that I don't know what "mixed hockey" is-? does Mixed mean it's co-ed? And what is it? field hockey?- but I thought only girls play field hockey. But what really made me laugh is this follow-up email about the BIG "Mixed Hockey" game:
The deal is we just have a fun run around (no hockey talent is required - we even invite Ruth to play) so even if you've never played before just come down if you fancy a hit. It's not really that competitive!
We can provide sticks if you need one, and there is free food and drink on offer afterwards.
Let me know if you're keen.
Something about a "fun run around" and choosing to do something because I'm "keen"- which for some odd reason makes me think of my mom listening to a Beach Boys record as a teenager. Maybe it's not really that funny but to tell you the truth, I have nothing better to do than to spend a few minutes laughing about all of this- because I'm waiting until it's time to go to "PUB QUIZ NIGHT" with the British trainees-(one of the cool things about doing a summer at a British firm is that we have 2 sets of summer events- really good events for the US summer associates- like trips to Poland, we are going to see the Producers next week AND my all time favorite event (although we haven't done it yet and we can't technically call it a "summer event" due to liabiltiy purposes- THE RUNNING OF THE BULLS IN PAMPOLONA, SPAIN!!!!!!!
That's right folks. In 2 weeks, I will be at the Running of the Bulls for 24 hours with my boss, her husband and the infamous Gabe (or Gabriel- as he prefers to be called but I'm not going to waste all my time calling him by the proper East Coast version of his name when plain old Gabe works for everyone in California). It should be interesting, because although I don't plan to run with the bulls, Jeff does (my boss's husband)- which I guess is why for liability purposes this is not a "firm event"- like if Jeff convinces us to run (which he won't- I would never do it and Gabe isn't exactly fit to do it if you know what I mean) and we get gored (which usually happens to drunk English people- last year 200 people were injured and a few died as well).
When we found out Jeff would be RUNNING with the bulls Gabe said, "well that makes sense because Jeff grew up in Oklahoma and so he must have experience running away from barn animals." OK... Maybe Jeff did spend a lot of time running with goats when he was younger, but I doubt he has ever ran with any animals that have the potential of goring you- I think Gabe just said that because it gives him a good excuse as to why Jeff will run and he won't (not to stereotype or anything but I think it's because Gabe's a croquet player, not a rock star). Which reminds me of something I would really like to do (a main goal for the summer)-is to learn how to play Croquet.
Talk about doing things when the opporutnity comes up- Gabe was the Pres. at one of the top CROQUET teams in the country- maybe even on earth. And lets be honest here- croquet is "a very agressive sport"- at least that
is what he told me a few days ago. But he also says "croquet is a mix between golf and chess"- now maybe it's just me but those two phrases don't really seem to mesh in my mind- how can a sport be "very agressive" (which makes me think of rugby) and also "a mix between golf and chess" (which makes me think of a tea party) But I need to take advantage- just like taking advantage of traveling- this may be my only op to learn how to play croquet- (a sport that seems completely boring and useless and is never going to help Gabe or anyone else "get in shape")
Since I literally have nothing better to do at the moment (not to make anyone jealous or to go over this again but I already have planned an itinerary for the rest of my summer which I want to go over again so that I feel like I'm being productive at work and so I can get excited. It includes
WEEKEND TRIPS WHILE I'M WORKING TO:
in that order and then...
FOR 3 WEEKS AFTER I STOP WORKING I'M GOING TO:
(1) Dublin, Ireland;
(3) Cinque Terra, Italy;
(4) 10 more days in SPAIN (my third trip to Spain this summer)!!!!!!
Looks like I'm addicted to traveling...
Okay- since I'm writing this email to entertain myself- you can stop reading here if you are bored. If not, I'm going to go into more detail about one more thing I love about Gabe (now I kind of feel like I'm writing an US Weekly column about Gabe and the truth is that he is a nice guy, and like my dad said ("it's nice you have someone to travel
and hang out with- yeah it's nice to have someone to go to lunch with but at the same time it might be a lot NICER if it was someone who didn't occasionally make me sick just looking at them)- Ok I'll be nicer- I don't mind working with him (except when he makes wierd elephant noises while he blows his nose- which happens A LOT)- BLAH BLAH BLAH BUT like I said- I have NOTHING better to do (but wait to go to another typical night in London at THE PUB) and this is making me laugh...
1) Gabe has been "SICK" for the last 2 weeks- which consists of him adopting the MOST disgusting habits I have ever seen (more like ever heard but anyways)- he sits at his desk all day (or at lunch or wherever the F we are) blowing his brains out- I mean blowing your nose is okay but this is just not normal. He makes these elephant noises. Literally- I have no clue how such loud nose blows can come from such a little man. And I sit 3 offices away from him (the partner Tom sits in between us- so the other day Sabrina and I were wondering- if we can hear the noises so clearly what does Tom think?)
EVEN worse than the blowing is the hawking noises he makes (which are so gross I cannot EVEN describe them)- all I know is that I need to shut the door to my office all the time because I almost barf everytime I hear him.
So the other day he came into my office to ask me if the noises he makes are bothering me (he said all his roomates complained a lot about his sick noises last year)- well let's see- "bothering me" would be an understatement- they literally make me want to throw up and EVERYTIME he does it when I am near him (like at lunch) it RUINS my meal AND a lot of the time if we are hangin and he makes these noises I have to stop looking at him for a few minutes. Like I literally just look ahead and not at him when I talk to him in fear of getting sick all over him.
2)Gabe's favorite class is CON LAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (my LEAST favorite class I have ever taken in my life ever ever ever- except possibly organic chemistry- but that was more like Chinese) AND the entire reason he went to law school period end of sentence was to LEARN CON LAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He got a bad grade in Con Law (bottom 10% at
Harvard)today and was really hurt inside (I totally understand because since Con law was my favorite class I almost wet my pants when I saw I only got a P in that class).... I tried to consol him but what do I say-basically you go to Harvard so who really cares. I guess he got a B-(which apparently nobody gets at Harvard, it means you are in the
bottom 10% of your class and the Professor has to get explicit permission from the dean to give out a B-. Isn't that nuts? At a lot of law schools you are LUCKY to get a B-)
Okay- that's all that is bothering me for now- now that I got that out of my system I only have 45 minutes left until Pub Quiz night. In case anyone is concerned about not being able to learn more about Gabe (a figure you have never met)- it won't be a problem. Everyday there is something new that bothers me and I'm sure I can give you more info as more disgusting events arise (which makes me think of one other thing he does that makes me want to run away from him- he's always putting his fingers in his mouth and sucking them, then grabbing my food.
EWWWWWWWWWWWW.... and he's always trying to hook up with girls and sleaze on everyone and all I can think is- I really want to tell him that if he wants to get a girl he should clean up some of his habits.
I mean, honestly this is not the kind of behavior I would have expected from someone with an Ivy League education and experiences playing dumb "sports" - if you can even call Croquet a sport- maybe it's just me but JEEZ!
Hope everyone is doing GREAT!